The reason Hardy doesn't drink coffee…
by Argentum Anubis
Summary: … Is that he isn't himself when he does. (Note to Miller: Do not give caffeine to Alec Hardy)


**A/N:** Imagine that Alec Hardy on caffeine is like another personality emerging, except he automatically forgets about what he did once his caffeinated state wears off.

* * *

Expecting a stressful day at work, Ellie Miller woke up early Monday morning to make tea and coffee- coffee, strong and with plenty of caffeine, for her; tea for Hardy. She put them into two cups and left her home.

She arrived at the department building the same time as Hardy.

He was practically asleep on his feet, so tired that he was unable to make his daily morning complaint about it being "Too early for bloody people." Instead, Hardy grunted to her as she handed him one of the cups.

He chugged down his drink as they made their way down the halls. Parting ways once they reached the office, Hardy headed for his cubicle and Miller set her purse down on her desk. Now that she had her hands free, she took a sip of her drink…

… only to realise that it was the wrong cup. Instead of the bittersweet coffee flavor, she was drinking green tea.

Miller sighed, recalling that Hardy did not drink coffee. She got up and met Hardy in his office, where he had his head down and was focusing on a file on his lap.

"Er… Sir? I sort of mixed up our drinks."

"That's fine, Ell," Hardy replied.

Miller stared at him. "What… what did you say, sir?"

He looked up and gave her a surprisingly nice smile. "It's fine, Ell. Mistakes happen. We're only human, right?"

She continued staring at him until she thought her eyes were about to fall from their sockets. "Uh... yes. I suppose so, sir."

Hardy stood. "Call me Alec. 'Sir' sounds so… harsh."

Miller blinked. "Uh… sure…" She slowly backed out of the small room, away from the smiling man. She bumped into Brian just outside and he frowned as he took in the stunned expression on his face.

"Something wrong, Ell?" he inquired.

She nodded. "The strangest thing… Hardy is being nice to me. He told me to call him by his first name."

Brian's frown deepened. "Uh-oh. You didn't happen to give him coffee, did you?"

"By accident, I gave him mine instead of the tea." She gestured at the abandoned cup on her desk.

Brian sighed. "Hardy has a… strange reaction to caffeine. It wears off after about two or three hours. But before it does, you have to deal with the alternate Alec Hardy."

"But isn't it nice?" she wondered aloud. "Having him be polite for a change?"

Brian shook his head. "Not at all. It's creepy. By the time it wears off, you would pay someone everything you own to change him back."

"Oh."

Brian clapped a hand gently on her shoulder. "Don't worry too much. Just try to stay as far away from him as you can. You think he's weird without caffeine? Just wait until you see him with coffee in his system."

"Ell!" called Hardy, exiting his office.

Brian deserted Miller, rushing off down the hallway, to the exit.

Miller scoffed at his retreating form before turning to face her boss. "Yes, sir- Er, I mean, Alec?"

"We need to go out and investigate something. A robbery."

Miller trailed after him, to the parking lot.

As she drove, Hardy talked. He talked about strange things he had never mentioned before. He talked about the song he'd had stuck in his head for days- that one from the _Titanic_ movie that everyone always fussed over- and how he'd gotten stung by a bee as a kid, and what he'd made for dinner the previous night.

Everything about this new Hardy was strange: the talking, the smiling, and the total lack of brooding sentiment.

It was nice, at first. But Brian was right. Miller would pay to have the old Hardy back already.

Her wish was not yet answered, so she was stuck visiting the Richardson farm with an overly peppy Hardy.

"Hello!" Hardy exclaimed, calling over to the man standing in the middle of the field. "How can we help you?"

The farmer stared at the detective for a moment before replying. "Erm, hello. I called to report that one of my cows are missing."

Hardy nodded, taking out a small notebook. "Could you describe it, please?"

"Well…" Mr. Richardson said. "It was black and white. It was a little short than I am."

Hardy nodded again, taking copious notes. "We'll get back to you when we've found a cow matching that description, sir." He started walking away from the farmer.

"Hardy!" Miller exclaimed, hurrying to keep up with his long strides.

When he frowned at her, she corrected herself. "Alec!"

He smiled. "Yes, Ell?"

"That description matches almost every cow in this area!"

He shrugged. "Then it will be easy to find it! Outstanding!"

Ell spent the rest of the two hours it took for the coffee to wear off chasing an optimistic, happy, grinning man in a suit and a navy blue tie.

"Please, just be yourself again," she grumbled as she shuffled after him through the hall of the department building.

He glanced back at her. "Everything okay, Miller?"

"No, it's n- wait. What did you call me?

"Miller." He looked concerned. "Are you okay?"

Miller came close to crying with relief. "Thank God you're you again!"

He blinked at her. "What?"

"I accidentally gave you coffee."

Realization hit Hardy immediately; he stared at her. "Oh shit."

She nodded. "Exactly."

He apologized for everything he had done and went to his office to sleep off the sudden decrease in energy, passing Brian as he hid behind his desk along the way.

As the door the Hardy's office shut, Miller whispered to him, "It's safe again."

Brian wiped the sweat from his brow with a relieved sigh. "Thank goodness. The only other time it happened, all Hell broke loose. _He sang karaoke_."

Miller shuddered. "Well. Note to selves: no coffee for Hardy."


End file.
